The millenials have been labelled ‘the worst generation on record’, the ‘entitled generation’, ‘generation me me me’, and ‘the generation of spoiled idiots’. As a millenial myself, I thought I’d look into whether these criticisms are justified — and, if they are, whether there is more to them than first meets the eye.
Millenials are entitled
Millenials are criticised for believing the world owes them something and they deserve special privileges. There is some truth to this, but how and why millenials have adopted this inflated attitude is rarely discussed. No-one talks about the parents of millenials — many of who came of age in the 70s and 80s. At that time the end of the wars and increased travel opportunities led to a lot of optimism, a focus on self-realization and a sense the world was full of opportunities. This hopefulness naturally extended to child rearing — and a huge amount of positive parenting. Parents told their children they could be and do anything, and were to keen to instill self-esteem through praise and positive reinforcement. Ultimately they wanted to give their children the opposite of their own soul-crushing 1950s ‘shut up and live with it’ childhoods.
In theory this sounds great: optimistic and self-aware parents fostering esteem in their children. But the strategy also had its flaws. If children are constantly praised, told they are special and can do anything, there is a risk they will grow up to believe it is their birthright to experience everything the world has to offer and all the privileges that come with it.
In reality this is not how the world operates; especially now the innocence of the sixties and seventies has been decimated by foreign wars, capitalism, fear of climate change and economic meltdowns. The result is a whole generation who expect one thing from life, but receive quite another.
Millenials are constantly dissatisfied
Millenials know dissatisfaction is not the route to happiness — yet the discontent remains. Entering adulthood with unrealistic expectations has certainly played a part, but so too has technology. Millenials were the guinea pigs for the digital revolution — and now we are beginning to understand the effect technology has on happiness, satisfaction and well-being.
Millenials are also the first adult generation to have grown up receiving constant social media updates about the lives of others. Intellectually we know people are only presenting the best parts of their lives, but there remains a lot of ‘compare and despair’. Instead of celebrating their victories (as previous generations would have), millenials make comparisons with the accomplishments of others — and then, seeing how badly theirs stack up, throw them off with dissatisfaction.
Some millenials even suffer from “FOMO” (fear of missing out). They cannot enjoy anything because they constantly think the real party is happening elsewhere. If they agree to do one thing they risk missing out on something else — so they waste their days agonising over what they should or shouldn’t do. Whilst this is definitely a ‘first world problem’, you could say the same about a number of other psychological afflictions — it doesn’t make them any less real.
Due to unrealistic expectations and the culture of constant comparison, many millenials — who by previous standards would be considered high-flyers (well-paid job, a good group of friends, travelling to exotic places) — feel like failures who should be doing more. Other millenials are even more ‘unsuccessful’. They have done their best to take their opportunities, but for one reason or another things have never quite worked out. Now they are looking around and wondering where it all went wrong. We’re not talking about homeless drug addicts here; most have a good education, a job, and a roof over their heads. And yet they feel they have failed at life. As one millenial friend put it, “There must be a German term for the pain of feeling that you are not utilising all the opportunities life has put in front of you. And not just letting yourself down, but all those who were less fortunate that came before.”
The reality is that even if you do your best it doesn’t necessarily mean you will succeed. In life there is always an element of good fortune involved. As Alan de Botton puts it, “Where people tend to end up results from a combination of encouragement, accident, and lucky breaks.” Unfortunately millenials fail to recognise this — and their disappointment often turns to self-loathing and discontent.
Millenials are ungrateful
Millenials are hyperaware that other people (both past and present) have more difficult lives than them. They are bombarded with images of people much worse off and are constantly reminded they should be grateful. As a result they are convinced they should be happy all the time and feel disgusted with themselves when they’re not.
The reality is that regardless of when or where you were born a problemless life does not exist. The Buddha said something similar thousands of years ago: “The first truth is that life consists of suffering, pain and misery.” One could even argue that the meaning of life emerges through navigating this suffering and solving the problems which come with it.
I’ve only met one person who appeared 100% happy all the time. I used to pass him on the street on my way to work in Ghana. He had a permanent grin on his face and lived in a state of ecstasy. Dressed in rags, he spent his days sitting on an old sack of oranges. Occasionally he’d grab an orange, smash it on his head and blink the juice from his eyes. Being 100% happy all the time is not a natural reaction to existence, which is why I equate it with this mentally ill guy and his oranges.
I’m aware some of you may be thinking – “Jeez, spoiled millenials are pathetic. All they have to complain about is not being happy all the time.” And you’re right. It IS pathetic. And millenials KNOW it is pathetic. But just because you know something is stupid it doesn’t stop it from occurring. If you’re unhappy you’re unhappy. That’s it. Period. So the upshot is millenials can either pretend to be happy when they’re not or voice their unhappiness and be branded ungrateful instead.
Millenials are disrespectful to parents and elders
There may be some truth in this but is it a uniquely millenial issue? Throughout history each generation has complained about the disrespect shown by the next. It is inevitable that each generation misunderstands the new because age and experience brings a new point of view. It’s amazing how quickly we forget the person we were ten or twenty years ago. If we had better memories perhaps we would find it easier to fathom where the heads of the next generation are at.
A more specific reason for branding millenials disrespectful is they are inclined to approach their superiors as equals. But this is in part due to many modern companies doing away with traditional top-down structures in order to encourage collaboration — and so can hardly be used as evidence of defective moral character.
Millenials don’t know how to socialize
Those who make this accusation are usually comparing today’s world with the past (“It wasn’t like that in my day”). Such comparisons are based on a romanticised history which only exists in their heads. This nostalgia can be dangerous: when we claim we want to return to how things were we forget all the bad things that inspired the changes in the first place. This forgetfulness is incredible — anyone would think people used to spend their days hugging neighbours and dancing in the streets.
Millenials know how to socialize but they do it differently. They send messages, go couchsurfing, attend meet-ups, and create networks way beyond the scope of most previous generations. Yes, some are addicted to their devices and struggle to socialize, but these kinds of people existed before technology too. I’m know memes are another ‘detestable’ millenial trait but …
Millenials are impatient
The reason millenials are more impatient than previous generations is that things tend to happen way faster than they used to. It’s not like these spoiled millenials just woke up one morning and decided they shouldn’t have to wait for anything. They have received more marketing attention than any generation on record — and the focus of much of this has been ‘on demand services’. Being repeatedly told things should be available ‘at the touch of a button’ is the perfect training ground for impatience.
Millenials are work-shy
Critics point to millenials’ pre-occupation with work-life balance as a sign of weakness. They say previous generations never enjoyed the luxury of work-life balance and so spoiled millenials shouldn’t expect it either. But whilst life was hard in the past, modern life presents a new kind of challenge. The reason millenials are so obsessed with finding balance is to protect themselves from the impact of technology. The internet has changed work culture beyond recognition. The days of shutting the door on your office are gone and the tasks continue to buzz away in your pocket. Millenials’ desire for flexibility and freedom is a reaction to never being allowed to switch off. They don’t seek balance because they are lazy but for the sake of their own sanity.
Ultimately, studies have shown that if you give millenials meaningful work and a solid learning curve they will work around the clock for you. On top of this, if the company demonstrates corporate social responsibility then millenials will scream about it from the rooftops — acting as advocates and providing tonnes of free PR. Millenials want work that represents more than just a paycheck, and whilst they shouldn’t feel entitled to this, doing work that matters is surely an admirable ambition to have.
Millenials lack commitment
Previous generations were loyal to their employers – many stayed with one company for life — whereas millenials tend to ‘job-hop’ every few years.
There are two ways of looking at this:
- Millenials lack determination and are unwilling to stick around when things get tough.
- Millenials are ambitious and always on the lookout for something better.
Like most things in life it all depends on how you frame it.
Personally I don’t view job-hopping as an exclusively negative trait. Previous generations clung to their jobs for as long as possible (even if they despised them). Millenials are not willing to settle (even when the risk of leaving is high). So which generation is influenced by hope and which by fear?
Millenials are also the most entrepeneurially-minded generation on record. They have looked at the career paths laid out for them and decided to take a different route. Hardly surprising when the news is full of untrustworthy corporations, market crashes and redundancy. Previous generations had a much clearer (albeit more restrictive) blueprint of what success looked like. Get a steady job, buy a house and have a family. Good luck finding a steady job these days, and good luck earning enough money to get on the housing ladder — for most millenials it’s all but impossible. Without a clear blueprint, the end goal is unclear. So millenials are forging their own way and searching for purpose elsewhere. The downside is confusion, false turns and stress. The upside is millenials have more choices than ever before — which is what their parents wanted for them in the first place.
Millenials are selfish
Actually, the research suggests otherwise. Studies have shown millenials have a strong sense of community at both local and global level. They focus on larger societal needs rather than individual (hence the desire to work for companies with a social conscience). USA Today has even claimed millenials are the most civic-minded generation since the 1930s and 1940s. So perhaps not as selfish as they are made out to be?
Final thoughts: Are millenials are a generation of spoiled idiots?
Like any generation the millenials are far from perfect. But it is shortsighted to compare them to previous generations without considering the circumstances they grew up in or how the world has changed.
No generation evolves by chance; collective traits develop as a reaction to the world around them. With that in mind it will be interesting to see how the children of millenials behave when they become adults. No doubt millenial parents will create new issues through parenting strategies that are a knee-jerk reaction to the ones their own parents used.
The best thing any generation can do for the next is to create a political, economic, environmental and cultural landscape which allows them to live at least somewhat sanely. And though we are a long way from achieving any of those things right now, like many millenials, I remain optimistic that we (all generations) can turn it around in the future.
I also want to emphasise that this discussion has been based solely on the UK and the US. I’d be fascinated to hear from millenials outside of these countries to find out whether they have similar ‘spoiled millenial mindsets’ (and face the same criticisms).
For example I live in the Czech Republic where people had a completely different experience of the 70s and 80s. Czech people were all but locked out of the party and then invaded by Russia — after which came some truly rough decades. So I doubt Czech parents would have been full of optimism or hope. That said, maybe the Prague Spring in 1968 had some kind of impact?
Interestingly, millenials in Prague appear to have a similar mindset to those in the UK and US — and face similar criticisms. I wonder if the international nature of the capital means it is more plugged into the world zeitgeist. Millenials in smaller Czech cities seem to be more old-fashioned, they don’t appear to get FOMO and are content with a good family and a nice job rather than insanely elevated ambitions. But of course these are just personal observations and I am likely completely wrong, so if you’re Czech I’d love to get your take on this.