I recently tried to buy some bike lights in České Budějovice. The Czech sales assistant didn’t care for manners. When I asked about the wherebouts of the lights, he sighed loudly – as if I were a huge inconvenience – and jabbed a finger towards the back of the store.

“Thanks for your help,” I said, “You’ve been so friendly.”

He glared at me, aggressive now, adding with slow sarcasm: “The lights are over there.”

I’ve experienced this lack of manners hundreds of times in the Czech Republic. I could have stormed out, but I’d only waste time looking somewhere else, and who’s to say I would be treated any better there? So I left the shop with the lights and a bucketload of anger.

Outside I recounted the experience to a Czech friend. “I don’t see the problem,” she replied. “You needed bike lights and now you have them. Manners are irrelevant.”

Czech culture or rudeness?

I have since retold that story to various Czechs in an effort to discover how they see fellow Czechs and what they consider bad manners. Most disagree with my friend at the bike shop: apparently her attitude is a hangover from communism (where manners were the first casualty). Back then friendliness was dangerous because it attracted unnecessary attention.

Most Czechs I know agree that poor customer service makes life in the Czech Republic more difficult than it needs to be. The manners of govenment staff are terrible: they often go out of their way to be unhelpful.

One Czech friend however, believes that Czech people are just honest. “Americans smile and wish you a nice day when they don’t even mean it! Is it not bad manners to lie, pretending to like someone when you don’t? Who cares if an employee’s face didn’t light up when you entered the shop? You probably only noticed because you’re from Britain where everyone is obsessed with manners.”

Do British people overstate the importance of manners?

It is only when I moved abroad (and had something to compare British manners to) that I realised there may be some truth to the “polite British” stereotype. But British friends say the people are getting ruder there too, especially in offices, where requests are either deemed a huge inconvenience or impossible.

Bad manners seem to be a general trend these days. I don’t know whether this is due to a lack of trust in politicians, the aftermath of covid, or social media making us more self-absorbed.

With this in mind, do manners still matter?

For me, a hundred percent yes.

Some may believe it’s enough to get what you want from a transaction, but I think we should be aiming much higher. Humans have evolved to realise they achieve more when they cooperate in a civilized manner. Fingers crossed we’re not going backwards.