I can count on one hand the number of expats I’ve met who speak fondly of their home country. More often, they’re eager to explain why theirs is the worst of them all. A common expat pastime is the game of one-upmanship: “You think bureaucracy is bad where you’re from? Well, listen to this…”

Some expats genuinely dislike their homeland and feel more at home elsewhere, that’s why they left in the first place. But I’d argue that unconscious biases also shape the way expats view their origins.

One such bias is the need to justify a decision. Much like someone who buys an expensive gadget and insists it’s great to avoid feeling foolish, expats often reassure themselves that moving abroad was the right choice. This is a form of choice-supportive bias, where we emphasize the positives of our chosen path and the negatives of the one we left behind.

Another factor is familiarity. Expats know their home culture inside out, making its flaws all the more obvious. By contrast, no matter how well they integrate, they will always remain somewhat blind to the deeply ingrained frustrations of their host country. Even without a language barrier, they lack the full cultural intuition of a native. As a result, expats make an uneven comparison, judging their homeland with a magnifying glass while viewing their adopted country through a softer lens.

A friend of mine has a different take. He believes expats play up the negatives of their home country because if they spent their time gushing about it, locals would just ask, “So why don’t you f** off back there?”* In his view, this is a defense mechanism that eventually turns into self-conviction: repeat the idea often enough, and you start to believe it.

Then there’s the romantic notion of leaving everything behind for a better life in a foreign land — a narrative deeply embedded in books, movies, and the collective imagination. The reverse story —“Don’t go anywhere; it’s best where you are” — lacks the allure. To sustain this fantasy, expats must paint home in drab tones, widening the contrast between the life they left and the one they’ve embraced.

When I am critical of the UK, I wonder how much of my perspective is rooted in reality and how much is shaped by subconscious bias. I can’t say for certain, but I suspect that being negative about the place we left behind is less about facts and more about the stories we tell ourselves to justify the choices we’ve made.