Czechs make a lot of assumptions about the UK, so I’m often forced to debunk myths about English culture. I’d love to say I’m writing this to inform and educate, but my motivation is less altruistic. By dealing with these misconceptions today, I’m hoping I’ll never hear them again.

The English are like foreigners in their own country and live in fear of terrorists

I wonder whether Czechs are projecting their own fears about multiculturalism onto other countries. For me, multiculturalism is one of the best things about English culture. And terrorist attacks are nothing new, in the 1970’s we had the IRA instead. If there is a bomb scare on the underground, a typical Londoner will just roll their eyes at the delay.

It constantly rains in England

England has a maritime climate, which does bring a certain amount of rain, but it doesn’t even come close to being one of the world’s most rain-soaked locations. When it rains, why do people call it “English weather?” Columbia has the highest rainfall, so “Columbian weather” would be more accurate.

English people use idioms all the time

Many Czechs believe English people use idioms in every sentence. They then overuse them, which means you finish up with odd conversations like this:

Me: “How are you?”

Her: “I’m as sick as a parrot. I had a butchers at the test and to pass with flying colours I’ll need to pull a rabbit out of a hat.”

English people often leave without saying goodbye

I didn’t know this was considered English culture until I heard the Czech phrase “zmizet po anglicku” (to leave English style). It’s true that some English people tend to slip off quietly, but there are characters like this everywhere! In England, we call this kind of exit: “French leave…”

English people love to talk about the weather

Discussing the weather isn’t pleasurable, it’s just a way to grease the wheels of conversation. I once asked a Czech student about ‘small talk’ in his country. “It’s complicated,” he replied. “You need to make a witty comment about something around you.”

I’m not sure which is worse: mindnumbing weather conversations, or needing to spontaneously create a brilliant joke.

English people eat English breakfast every morning

If this were true, we’d have all perished of heart attacks long ago. English people like a fry up, but only the occasional one on the weekend (or in an attempt to cure a hangover). Aside from the health risk, it’s not feasible to cook sausages, eggs, and bacon before work.

The English drink tea at 5 p.m. every day

A hundred years ago this was common practice among the upper classes, but even in those circles it doesn’t really happen these days. In England, any time is a good time for tea, with some English people drinking it from the second they wake up to the moment they go to bed.